Archive for the ‘self esteem’ Category

They’re All Better Than Me

Saturday, October 25th, 2008

If there are so many people out there who are better, brighter, and smarter than me, than why pursue anything at all?

Guess what?  There are lots of people who are better at certain things than you and me.  You know what I say?

So what!

The only thing you need to think about in this situation is the fact that there is nobody else like you, even if they’re better at a certain skill or task.  They can’t do it the same as you.  They don’t have the same angle on it as you.

There’s no one in the world like you.  Relish that.

-Kevin

Tags:
Posted in fear of success, mindset, self esteem | 1 Comment »

Reclaim Your Power

Tuesday, October 14th, 2008

One of the core issues at the root of fear of success is that when we become successful, we’ll have to face the fact that we could have made the change all along.  This was definitely the situation for me.

When I started to build my business, I suddenly realized that I had the power to do it all along.  It was extremely hard to forgive my myself for that!  I said, “Wait, I could have done this last year, 2 years ago…even 5 to 10 years ago!  What’s my freakin’ problem!”

This went along even further as I thought back to my year in Los Angeles when I was trying to make it as an actor.  I thought of all the things I could have done differently in order to be successful in L.A., given what I know now about attaining success and changing your mindset.

Then I thought about the period of time when I moved back home.  Instead of picking myself up right away and getting on with my life, I got a less-than-fulfilling job and put off starting a business for another 3 years or so while I wallowed in self-loathing pity.

Then it finally dawned on me.  The only way I was going to get past this cycle of self-sabotage, low self esteem, and enormous fear of success was to forgive myself.  That’s right, it wasn’t up to anyone else.  I simply had to forgive myself and embrace the fact that I have the power to be successful now. It’s okay that I didn’t do it before and that I hadn’t attained very much success yet.

I know it kind of sounds a little oversimplified, but that’s really the way it is.  If I didn’t heal myself by forgiving myself, and realize that the forgiveness could only come from within me, I never would have been able to start and grow a business.

Believe me when I say it was a huge relief when I went through this process.  Following forgiveness, I felt like I could leave the past behind and take back the power of my life.

If the above applies to you, begin the healing process now.  Forgive yourself for not achieving much success yet.  Then, you’ll put the fear to rest and be able to charge forward.

-Kevin

Tags: ,
Posted in fear of success, self esteem, thoughts | 1 Comment »

Change is Scary

Saturday, October 11th, 2008

One of the reasons people fear success is that change can be a scary thing.  With success comes a change in the way you see yourself, in the way others see you, as well as changes in your financial situation, social status, and lifestyle.

It’s much easier to keep doing the same things over and over again, rather than to venture into the unkown world of exciting new possibilites.  It can be very tough to grasp the idea of leaving our comfort zones.

However, we need to realize that change is necessary in order to be successful.  If we’re in a situation where we aren’t leading what we consider to be fulfilling lives, change is the only thing that will get us out of that rut.  Possible things we need to think about changing are our rigid daily routines, old ways of thinking, and same predictable thought patterns.

Here are some ideas for dealing with change in your life and career:

1.  Embrace change and the opportunites that go along with it.  Learn to get excited about the challenges that come when change occurs, and you will grow in your confidence when dealing with them.

2.  Be flexible with with your old ways of thinking and your previous routines.  Come up with new ways of getting things done faster and more effectively, even if they seem outrageous and completely different.  You’ll boost your self esteem when the quality of your work and life increases.

3.  Each day, find one little thing in your daily routine that you can change for the better, then take action and make the change!  Making changes in small increments will lessen the blow and be much easier to handle.

Remember, you don’t want to get left behind in your comfort zone while wonderful and prosperous opportunities pass you by.  Change is not so scary!

-Kevin

Tags: ,
Posted in fear of success, self esteem | No Comments »

7 Ways to Boost Self Esteem

Thursday, October 9th, 2008

As promised in the last post, here are 9 ways you can give your self esteem a healthy boost, which will help to propel you past your fear of success:

1.  Don’t compare yourself to others.  There will always be someone who is more talented than you, has more money than you, or is better looking.  If you’re always comparing yourself to other people, you’ll find there are too many to compete with.

2.  Begin to become aware of your negative self-talk.  If you’re always putting yourself down, you’ll never be able to raise your self esteem.  Avoid self-deprecation when thinking or speaking about your career, business, looks, relationships, etc.

3.  Take care of yourself physically.  Often, if we feel badly about ourselves on the inside, we neglect what’s on the outside.  Things you can do to take good care of yourself are, a) eating healthy, including plenty of fruits and vegetables, protein sources such as eggs and fish, and whole grains,  b) getting plenty of exercise, and c) going to the doctor for regular check-ups.

4.  Spend time with positive, successful people.  Their optimism and encouragement will rub off on you and raise your spirits instantly.

5.  Write down things you’ve accomplished in the past.  They don’t have to be huge monumental events.  Possibilites include awards you’ve won, a job you got, learning to drive, graduating high school and/or college, buying a house, starting a business, talking someone through a difficult situation, raising children, overcoming an illness, learning to play an instrument, and losing weight.

6.  Live your life for yourself.  Leading a life that others have decided for you will never build up respect for yourself.  Be true to yourself by making decisions based on what you feel is right, not what you think will please you friends or family members.

7.  Take action right now!  You’ll feel great and raise self esteem when you jump into a challenge.  Failing to take action, due to fear of success or other phobias, will lead to anxiety and frustration, which only serves to lower self esteem.

I really hope this list helps.

Until next time,

-Kevin

Tags:
Posted in fear of success, self esteem, techniques | No Comments »

The Role of Self Esteem in Success

Wednesday, October 8th, 2008

Getting over a fear of success is going to require a high self esteem, but if yours isn’t too high yet, don’t worry about it.  It just has to be higher than where it’s at right now.

With high self esteem, you are more inclined to take actions that will fulfill your needs in life, career, etc.  This definitely increases your chances for success and happiness.

But, with low self esteem, you are less likely to take the necessary actions required to fill those needs.  This inaction will probably lead to feelings of frustration and despair.

They key is to recognize this relationship between mental fitness and physical actions.  Actions can come from a person with low self esteem just as easily as they can from someone with high self esteem.  The difference is the quality of the actions.

It is possible for someone with low self esteem to have the drive and talent to build a successful career or business.  There is more danger for that person, however, to experience an emotional “crash” or “breakdown” without a foundation of good self esteem.

On the other hand, it’s also possible for a person with high self esteem and an overload of confidence to lack the ability to take action that leads to success.  This person thinks that simply because he/she always feels good, success will come automatically, no matter what they do or don’t do.

In the next post, I’ll give you some simple tips you can implement right away to boost your self esteem and soar past the limits of fear of success, leading you to a happier and more abundant life.

-Kevin

Tags:
Posted in actions, self esteem, thoughts | No Comments »