I understand now, in hindsight, that those thoughts weren’t all completely bogus, like some of the others I had at the time.  It was pretty reasonable to assume that once I reached a certain level of success, I’d have many more tasks on my plate, more obligations, and generally more responsibilities.

Again, there was no “magic pill” I took that erased this thought from my head.  I say this again and again, but it was that simple shift in mindset that got me past it.  It was switching from negative self-talk to positive affirmations and optimism, as well as accepting who I was.  That’s what changed my mind about my ability to sustain success.  Suddenly, I felt ready for more responsibility, and that I was worthy of it.

-Kevin

I mean I really loved it!

It was so easy.

During my time in L.A., I got a ton of this kind of support from my family.  When they would hear about how bad things were going for me there, the financial and emotional support came pouring in.  It felt really good.

Same thing when I moved back home.

If anything good seemed like it was going to happen to me, I was quick to nip it in the bud.  I ignored opportunities for a second job to help myself get out of debt.  I rejected offers of extra work at the job I had at the time.  And I certainly avoided starting any healthy, successful relationships with anyone.

So what was going to happen if I actually started to make good money, became a better problem solver, and was able to take care of myself?  Would anyone pay attention to me anymore?

This was pure fear of success at it’s finest (or ugliest!)  Little did I know, the success I was avoiding was the very thing my supportive family was trying to help me attain.  Once I looked inside myself and realized that they weren’t going anywhere no matter what happened, success or failure, I stopped seeking constant help from them.   I didn’t want that kind of attention anymore.

Another breakthrough in my journey past my fear of success.

Until next time,

-Kevin

When I started to build my business, I suddenly realized that I had the power to do it all along.  It was extremely hard to forgive my myself for that!  I said, “Wait, I could have done this last year, 2 years ago…even 5 to 10 years ago!  What’s my freakin’ problem!”

This went along even further as I thought back to my year in Los Angeles when I was trying to make it as an actor.  I thought of all the things I could have done differently in order to be successful in L.A., given what I know now about attaining success and changing your mindset.

Then I thought about the period of time when I moved back home.  Instead of picking myself up right away and getting on with my life, I got a less-than-fulfilling job and put off starting a business for another 3 years or so while I wallowed in self-loathing pity.

Then it finally dawned on me.  The only way I was going to get past this cycle of self-sabotage, low self esteem, and enormous fear of success was to forgive myself.  That’s right, it wasn’t up to anyone else.  I simply had to forgive myself and embrace the fact that I have the power to be successful now. It’s okay that I didn’t do it before and that I hadn’t attained very much success yet.

I know it kind of sounds a little oversimplified, but that’s really the way it is.  If I didn’t heal myself by forgiving myself, and realize that the forgiveness could only come from within me, I never would have been able to start and grow a business.

Believe me when I say it was a huge relief when I went through this process.  Following forgiveness, I felt like I could leave the past behind and take back the power of my life.

If the above applies to you, begin the healing process now.  Forgive yourself for not achieving much success yet.  Then, you’ll put the fear to rest and be able to charge forward.

-Kevin

Here are a few things you can do to help you visualize a successful life:

1.  Writing down your thoughts about your idea of success puts a ton of clarity into what it is that you actually want.  This process takes a bunch of scattered thoughts and puts them on a tangible piece of paper, so you can really take a good look at where you want to be.

2.  See yourself as already successful, and act that way in life right now.  Pay attention to what it feels like inside when you “think” of yourself as a successful person.  It will feel different than anything you’ve ever felt before; a hundred times more positive than you might be feeling right now.  This new feeling will positively affect your actions, and you’ll complete tasks with a higher level of quality, improve your relationships, and not only see, but begin to feel like a successful person.

3.  Bounce your ideas off of people you trust.  Talking about where you want to be and what you want to do will greatly increase your confidence about your ability to get there.

Start to visualize yourself as a successful person right away by using the techniques above.  Once you see yourself in a new light, the improved visual will start to manifest in your reality!

-Kevin

With high self esteem, you are more inclined to take actions that will fulfill your needs in life, career, etc.  This definitely increases your chances for success and happiness.

But, with low self esteem, you are less likely to take the necessary actions required to fill those needs.  This inaction will probably lead to feelings of frustration and despair.

They key is to recognize this relationship between mental fitness and physical actions.  Actions can come from a person with low self esteem just as easily as they can from someone with high self esteem.  The difference is the quality of the actions.

It is possible for someone with low self esteem to have the drive and talent to build a successful career or business.  There is more danger for that person, however, to experience an emotional “crash” or “breakdown” without a foundation of good self esteem.

On the other hand, it’s also possible for a person with high self esteem and an overload of confidence to lack the ability to take action that leads to success.  This person thinks that simply because he/she always feels good, success will come automatically, no matter what they do or don’t do.

In the next post, I’ll give you some simple tips you can implement right away to boost your self esteem and soar past the limits of fear of success, leading you to a happier and more abundant life.

-Kevin

I know, I know, I can already hear it.  “Fear of success? What’s that?  Shouldn’t you be talking about fear of failure?”

It’s different than fear of failure.  That’s right – a lot of us out there are actually afraid to achieve the things we want in our careers, relationships, and life in general.

The thing that’s going through our minds is, “When I become successful, what else in my life is going to change?”  Then, negative thoughts start creeping in.  Thoughts like:

“I don’t deserve to be successful.”

“If I do achieve success, I won’t be able to hold on to it.”

“My relationships with friends and family will be damaged.  I’ll be on such a different level then them, so I won’t be able to be around them.  They’ll probably even resent me for achieving success.”

These negative thoughts then lead to negative actions, like doing the wrong thing even when you know what’s right, in order to avoid the “hassle of success,” minimizing the importance of your accomplishments, and even feeling guilty when you attain success, leading to a loss of interest and drive in doing anything at all.

So, if the above describes you, I’m really glad you came to this blog.  I know you’ll get a lot out of it.

Tomorrow, I’ll give you some techniques you can implement right away so you can be on the road to crushing that pesky fear of success, and start building the life of abundance and prosperity you’ve only dreamed of before!

-Kevin Love